A really sick baby

I sat down to write and just couldn't find it.  I thought that I really wanted to not skip a night of 40 Days.  But, more importantly, I had to send a message to our friends.  They have a six week old baby who is very, very sick. He went right from being born at Good Sam to Children's where he has been for six weeks.  Each day is a challenge.  All kinds of medical issues...some known, some unknown.  He is beautiful and sweet and fighting hard every day and every night.
So, whatever complaints I have matter not at all.
Instead, I thought I would just share with you my attempt to tell two parents who are living what most of us cannot even fathom, my thoughts.  (I did not include names to protect their privacy.)



I don't know what you guys believe in...and it really doesn't matter.  So, I am not going to get particularly religious--just not my thing. But, I am offering up to the Universal Powers my truly heartfelt pleas to make things better. I cannot imagine the day you had.  (Hell, the months you have had.)  It sounds, at the end, that all went like it was supposed to go today.  For that I am very relieved.  The battle is huge and you two are warriors.  Making decisions for and protecting that sweet little baby.  Unimaginable. 
For you two, I am sending peace and strength.  For sweet, sweet T, I am sending healing energy and love and peace.  This isn't the way it is supposed to be.  You two...you three...have had so much to deal with..in just a few weeks.   Worries like the rest of us cannot even imagine.  Highs and lows, tears and smiles.  Love and confusion.  Exhaustion and frustration. Disbelief, anger, awe, absolute fear, alienation, days that just run together...that is all I can try to guess life has been like. Makes me want to string together profanities...but I am going to focus on the good stuff instead.

Everyone says God doesn't give you more than you can handle.  I would be fine if I never heard that (effin') statement again.  You two have so much to handle...who the heck gets to decide how much you can take?  Why do people say that?

Love one another. 
Sleep when you can. 
Feel it...all of it. 
Breathe.
Cry. 
Scream.
Celebrate the victories.
Tell him you love him.  Over and over. 
Tell your Higher Power you need him...or her.

Find help and support where and when you need it.  I wish I could tell you I know how you are feeling.  But I don't.  I just know that you are on my mind and in my heart all day every day. 

I mean this when I say, I am right here, right now, ready to do whatever I can.  Clean, cook, drive, box (yes, I mean like let you punch me), sit, hold the sweet punkin, stand while you scream at me, rake your leaves, get your mail, take your car for an oil change, pray, give foot rubs (that one you have to really convince me you really need...I will do it), get you private yoga lessons from my amazing yoga teaching sister, put dinner in your fridge, stock your liquor cabinet to the max, decorate for Halloween, shut the Hell up...whatever.  Just ask.  You don't even have to ask nicely.  I will do it. 
 

We want you to take him home.  Soon.  In your own home.  Where you can work to bond and love and fall asleep together on your own furniture.  The rest will happen.  Heck, I can be the once-a-month sitter while you two have the oh-so-important date night.  A driving babysitter.  A babysitter than can do laundry and clean up while the baby is sleeping. Or, a babysitter that blissfully holds him the whole time you see a movie and have a delicious, leisurely meal.  Yessssssss.

Just know that I don't know what the right words are.  But, the feelings are real.  And, I will do anything.

I wish I were able to fix it.  I can't.  I wish I were able to wish it away.  I can't.  I wish I could find the words that might offer the littlest bit of comfort.


Just know...you are in our hearts.  Be good to yourselves.  We are here.  Love.