Not day nineteen in our project. Nope. That one came and went.
But my first born son's 19th birthday. Wow. Hard to imagine...or even remember...all that has happened in 19 years. How can it be that it seems much more like hours than years? And, on this day, when I am so unbelievably lucky to be the Mom of two amazing, healthy boys, there are families all over the globe, feeling nothing like what I am feeling. A family five or six miles away is mourning the unfathomable loss of their own teenage son. A sweet boy, walking home in the early morning hours after a party this past weekend...was hit and killed by a car. The details don't matter...the fact that he is gone matters. Leaving a brother and sister. Parents. Friends. Family. All to ask over and over how it could have happened. The answer is...it can happen. And does happen. On any day, anywhere. That our time here is temporary...and so often bogged down with worry and fighting and waiting. Waiting to live better. Waiting to start something. Waiting for the right job, or the right mate or the perfect kids. Right now, right here...THIS is what you have. Is it enough? Is it more than most? Does that even matter? Is it enough for you to say....I am here. I am home. I am healthy. I am loved. I am safe. And, more importantly, the people I love are here. Or nearby. Or faraway... yet in my heart. They are healthy. Loved. Safe. The rest of it is bullshit. Period.
Why do we live the "Well, when...." life? There is not a tomorrow. Or, there may be one that starts out just like every other and ends like no other? So, are you, like me, waiting for that time? Are you as confused by how stupid that is as I am? What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for?
You can live.
You can write.
You can laugh.
you can cry.
You can celebrate.
You can love.
You can forgive.
You can get rid of it.
You can hold it closer.
You can make a difference.
You can pick up a pen. Or the phone. Or type it out. Just do it.
You can say sorry.
Or accept an apology.
Or let it all go.
You can be what you are meant to be.
Not next week. Certainly not "when..." NOW.
Do.
Write.
Say.
Fix.
Change.
Accept.
Offer.
Take.
Release.
Be.
Love.
Honor.
What the heck are we waiting for?
Love the sentiment behind this piece Tricia. It is so true - we move, move, move and judge, judge, judge without turning a thought to what is most important. You named it perfectly, and I will make a list today of all those that I am grateful for and hold it close. Now is all we have.
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