Teabag

Nope. Not doing some vulgar post today. Although I am fully capable of it and may still in the forty days...or beyond.

The little paper tag on the string on my teabag (do those things have a name?) says, "May your mind learn to love with compassion."

"Um, may the scalding hot water I just poured over you hurt just a little bit?" was my initial reaction. Yes, I felt defensive against my tea bag. Which I guess proves that the little tea bag tab has some timely advice?

So, as the tea cools and I sit listening to the rain, I play the words over and over again. The heart is the organ normally associated with love, right? But, the heart can't work without the brain and vice versa. And, I am no doctor, but the mind isn't exactly the brain, right? The brain is the actual organ...the mind is more like all of the parts working inside of the organ? (If you are a medical professional, or someone who did well in Biology, or someone who is simply smarter than I am and you are reading this and think I am making no sense at all.. welcome into my mind. The mind that needs to learn to love with compassion.) And, if you are judging my inaccurate description of the whole mind/brain thing, may I gently suggest you pour a cup of tea and see if your tab tells you anything you might need to know? This is my cup.

So, it isn't just the heart that loves. It is is the mind as well. I guess I knew that, but the little tab (I do wish it had a name) was a little gift from the Universe today.

My journey of loving with compassion has been a bumpy one. Especially loving myself with compassion. I am impatient and quick to judge. Not just you...but me. Only recently have I actually started to actively hear the ugly words and opinions that play endlessly like bad elevator music in my mind. They have been there all along...but...now I hear them. I am not supposed to judge them....just acknowledge them and let them go. Doesn't that sound so easy?
"Acknowledge them. Let them go.
Like dropping a handful of leaves into a stream and watching them float away."
Yeah, right. (Feels more like grabbing for a branch as I sink in quicksand that I thought was stream.)
It sounds easy but it isn't easy. It is some of the hardest work that I have ever done. Cleaning out those dirty, dusty corners of my mind and letting the ugly, old stinky stuff that I have given rent free space for years is the work I must do to be better. Lots of days I don't want to do it. I let myself slip back into hearing, acknowledging and believing those thoughts. And, because I am so damned good at this, throwing in a big heaping pile of judgement for my misstep. Where is the compassion in any of that? It is pretty much exactly the opposite of compassion.

So, little tea bag tab, I thank you for being my reminder. I think when the tea is gone, I will keep you...maybe pin you up somewhere to read you every day.

I am learning to love with compassion. Maybe, when I get a little closer to it feeling just right, I can write for tea company?